The Me-Sense

The me-sense is a fiction, a mis-identity, an impostor, a hypothetical self. It has been said that man is hypnotized and believes he is an identity that he is not. The me-sense is the belief that I as a person, or even that I as awareness, am the possessor of life/awareness. The me-sense says, “this is my life, my awareness”, and it would have life report to itself instead of life reporting to Its Rightful and Authentic Source, God".

This fictional identity has been written and spoken about as the “doer” of life. And it is this doer that is the veil of ignorance. It is this doer, this pseudo-identity that is to be uncovered, surrendered, and seen for the nothingness that it is.

The me-sense is the inward egoic “I” and this notion of "I" is the belief that the body/mind consciousness, the person, personality, this life, is me and mine. It is the belief of an independent and separate existence. It is this “I” that believes it was born and will one day die. .

This spurious sense of self is obdurate, arrogant and recalcitrant. That is quite a mouthful of words and this mis-identity is quite a mouthful of nonsense. It takes an ongoing earnest desire and a tenacious nature of the seeker to unveil and subdue the me-sense. It takes a willingness of heart to surrender all that one believes is valuable to find what is really valuable and to make God the All of all.

Very few are willing to sublimate the passions, lusts and addictions of the me-sense. These passions are like a ring through our nose that pulls us from here to there. The unwillingness lies in the fact that giving up the would-be-possessor and its passions feels a little bit like death. And it is. Every move we make to dismantle, undo, and unveil the me-sense is a move closer to the death of the ego. In truth, there is no death of the ego since it is but a belief, although it does feel this way to the me-sense, and it is very frightening consciously, but mostly unconsciously until we are willing to witness and watch its peregrinations and machinations.
(More about the letting go in The Awakening)

So how does the me-sense and its belief system begin? (Remember that this is part of the Divine Plan of Self-discovery and the reason for it is discussed in other sections.) But, to briefly scratch the intellectual itch, I ask this question. Would the prince born into wealth and unending abundance who never left his castle to journey amongst the poor of the countryside, feel as much gratitude, joy and appreciation for what he has as would the prince who did make this journey?

Running it back sequentially from the beginning to the time of our emergence into this linear experience as a baby, we grew and lived our first 15 months or so as the Child/child. We were tended to and cared for and we were without concern or fear. The world we lived in was not conceptually believed to be separate from ourselves, and all was well. All was as it was. Perfect. As we grew, the concept of the outside world developed and mom and dad were now seen as separate and apart from ourselves. We still lived and moved about spontaneously, joyously with imagination at every juncture. We believed in miracles and found that our caregivers, our parents, were there still tending to our every need and desire. Until. The beginning of disappointment and disillusionment began to arise when we were told that we should not do this or that. Slowly, all by divine plan, we began to believe that all was not well and there were things that we had to watch out for. “If I do this, I might get in trouble. I better do this or that so mom or dad won’t be mad.” And so it began that the inner sense of “I “ started to develop an image based on the beliefs, fears, and judgments of others. The deeper sense of isolation, guilt and separation begins to develop at this point. The innocence of the Child/child becomes veiled, covered over by this hypothetical and wounded image of self. Any vestige of the Subjective Truth, albeit it is not intellectually understood by the child, is further veiled and is all but covered by the fiction of a me-sense that becomes more strengthened and supported by the hypnotized collective consciousness of society and the world.

At this point, as far as the linear unfoldment of the child goes, this child grows into adolescence forgetting more and more of its Original and True Nature as the Authentic Child Consciousness. (Hear this gently with your heart. There is nothing but good going on in spite of the appearance to the contrary). The impostor’s belief of having to defend itself against a world has deepened. The belief system, what we believe we are and the image we offer to the world has become entrenched with these feelings of inadequacy, lack, guilt and fear.

Beyond our conscious acknowledgment is the belief and thought that “I am not good enough” or some derivation of that. This is where psychology and therapies were beneficial in my journey of Self-discovery as they helped me become aware of the woundedness of my psyche and the addictions and passions that held me imprisoned. “Blessed is the lion which the man eats and the lion become man; and cursed is the man who the lion eats and the man will become lion.” Jesus, (The Gospel According To Thomas)

We must begin to uncover and undo these fallacious beliefs about ourselves. Until we do, we will seek outside ourselves for completion, fulfillment, attainment and happiness. And as no permanent happiness can be found outside oneself, the pseudo-identity keeps its specious nature intact by projecting the blame on the external event, situation or person. The impostor will play the victim or the victimizer casting responsibility outside itself instead of taking responsibility for its own unhappiness and what it believes about itself.

The egoic-me will use all sorts of strategies to seek this happiness outside itself that will forever remain unfound. It may even enter the ranks of the “seeking” who seek to find the spiritual truth. And this will only lead to the pendulum swinging between the opposites of happiness and suffering, with the seeker trying to avoid suffering and forever chasing after happiness. The lamppost that chases the moth will end up smashing itself into the wall. Real Happiness is only found within Oneself and as Oneself. It is the me-sense impostor that is the cause of all suffering. In the words of the Eastern traditions, the mistaken identity believes itself to be the subject of objects while in reality it is but a mere object of the Transcendental Subject or Witness.